To The Introverted Mom on Mother’s Day

I know you. You’re sitting somewhere wondering if you’re a good mom.

You wanted kids; you did. And you love them with every part of your soul. You would walk on water for them if it meant saving their lives…

But sometimes…a lot of times…you need a break.

Someone forgot to tell you that being an introvert doesn’t stop even though you would lay down your life for your children without a second thought.

But social batteries don’t miraculously know who not to drain for…and that makes you feel guilty.

And because you’ve gotten the occasional side-eye from others, or some have raised their brow at “mom” comments you’ve made—you question if you’re a good mom.

In fact, right now, you’re thinking about all the reasons why you’re not. You’re thinking about all the things you don’t do and comparing them to all the things the “other mom” does, and that’s your proof.

Of course, I could tell you that you are—because you are; but the writer…. the introverted mom in me… knows it would take more than that statement.

You’re a great mom.

No, you don’t cut the crusts off of sandwiches or form them into fun animal shapes, or write loving notes to leave in their lunch telling them to have a good day…

But you remembered that they like the Nestle Crunch chocolate bar in their Lunchable (the one with the fruit punch), and you spent several minutes in the refrigerated section of the store to find it.

You’re an awesome mom.

No, you’re not the room mother for the class at school or a card-carrying member of the PTA, or you don’t answer the call for volunteers for field trips…

But when they get in the car or get off the bus, you listen intently at the disjointed recap of their day–reacting with sounds of interest, even if you have to be reminded of names and relationships.

You’re a tremendous mom.

No, you aren’t at every single game, and sometimes you don’t remember who plays what position…

But you celebrate that win, and when you are there, you scream the loudest; and when it’s your turn to bring the snacks…you rock that joint.

You’re a remarkable mom.

No, you’re not cooking gourmet meals every night or coming up with unique ways to serve leftovers; And some days, you barely get everybody to sit at the table to eat at the same time…

But you know they don’t like mushrooms, so you made sure it wasn’t on the pizza when it came…even when it’s your favorite topping.

You’re an extraordinary mom.

No, their hair isn’t always perfect, their socks don’t always match, that top may not always go with those pants, and you have no idea why their shoes are so dirty…

But you allow them to be carefree because, honestly, they have clothes on and are excited and unapologetic about the outfit—and that was the general goal.

You’re a phenomenal mom.

No, you can’t have lunch with them at school, and you don’t relieve the teacher on certain days or read to the class on whatever special holiday they’re celebrating…

But on the way to school, you all laugh at your favorite talk radio show, or you all belt out your best version of an old-school jam.

You’re an attentive mom.

No, they don’t sleep in your bed, and you may not have held them tightly to your chest every night so they could go to sleep…

But you’ve clocked countless hours on their floor or on the couch or in hospital rooms as you tended to them during sick days or stormy nights.

You’re an outstanding mom.

No, every drawing isn’t framed, every fingerpainting didn’t end up on the refrigerator, every “portrait of you” isn’t saved in a box somewhere…

But you helped them figure out what they excel at, and you celebrated their talent, no matter how quirky or odd or ordinary, and gave them the resources they needed to make sure it was cultivated.

You’re a nurturing mom.

No, you may not rush to every cry, acknowledge every scream, or attempt to calm them after every bad dream…

 But you embrace them when they’re hurting, and you remind them that although they’re in pain, it’s temporary, and you give them the tools to get back on their feet.

You are a loving mom.

Because even though you may need an hour in silence to decompress, even though sometimes the bathroom is your hiding place, and even though your idea of an epic Mother’s Day is some alone time at a spa without hearing the “M-word” for several hours…

You give amazing hugs

And you are fantastic at drying tears

You’re great at providing unwavering support

And you’re a Rockstar at unconditional love

And no, you don’t want to spend every waking hour with your kids, no matter how fantastic they are…

But the time you spend with them, the memories you make with them, and your efforts to be there are far greater than being this perfect human you think they need.

Sometimes, being a great mom means being present in the moments you can give, even if you can’t give every moment.  

This Mother’s Day, celebrate the incredible mom that you are.

From one introvert to another….

Happy Mother’s Day, Amazing Mom!

You know I’m right.

-Danita LaShelle

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