(RING)

Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. “FALL” is not available . At the tone, please leave a message. When you’re finished with the message, you may hang up, or press pound for more options. 

(BEEP)

Hey Fall…
I…I hope you’re doing okay.

Listen….you’ve not been yourself lately. You know it, I know it…everybody knows it. And I get it…I get it…you’re trying to be like Summer. Everybody seems to like her; always hanging out…enjoying it when she gives them sunny days. I get how you feel…. like everybody wants her to be around instead. That’s not true, buddy. It’s just…you know…part of a natural order of things

Look, I realize what happened last year. You dropped 40 degree temps on us and everybody was like “The devil is a liar!” or “I rebuke these cold temperatures!” and I realize it may have hurt your feelings. But this is no way to handle it…this isn’t like you.

Listen…human beings…you can’t base your decisions off of stuff we do and say. We’re indecisive and weird. We want one thing, and then when we get it, we realize what we actually wanted we don’t want anymore. That is literally happening right now with this whole elec—you know what, that’s not what this is about. This is about you being okay with you.

Fall, you are enough…

I…um…I didn’t make that up, but that doesn’t matter. I want you to realize that you’re so amazing when you’re being yourself.

So, how ‘bout it? Huh? Just, you know….bring those degrees down…do it for you.

You deserve this.

Just…you know…think about it.

Well….I gotta go. These leaves won’t rake themselves…

…in 80 degrees…

(sigh)

Please call me back…

Ok…Bye.

-Danita LaShelle