The World According to Gmorfs

Let’s say I have two rooms: an exorbitantly large room, and a painfully small room. And let’s say I put 6 green gmorfs in the small room, and 6 orange gmorfs in a large room.
And to each room I gift the gmorfs precious fine china plates. Because all gmorfs have a right to fine china. I mean there was a while in early gmorfan history where certain colored gmorfs weren’t allowed to have china, but that was way long ago and doesn’t matter now, right?
Anywho. Let’s say I leave each room alone for several days. Now, what you need to understand is that all gmorfs are peculiar things. When left to their own devices, sometimes trouble can occur…no matter what color they are.
When I come back, the orange gmorfs, in the exorbitantly large room, have destroyed a lot of fine china. I mean it’s a mess. And the green gmorfs, in the painfully small room, have destroyed a lot of the fine china too. But it looks messier in the green gmorfs room because it happened in a concentrated area.
Now, that doesn’t make the green gmorfs in the smaller room more careless; their room looks messier solely because their room was smaller; while the orange gmorfs in the bigger room SEEM to have destroyed LESS fine china, but only because they had more space.
When I’m standing there assessing the damage, a reporter happens by the rooms. This savvy reporter only concentrates on the small room with the 6 green gmorfs, because it looks likes more fine china was destroyed. And lets face it, green gmorfs make better news stories, right?
This thing makes the gmorf news. It’s a hot topic and headline: GREEN GMORFS BREAK FINE CHINA. (Not that the orange ones don’t, it’s just that…well, you understand.)
So later I have a dinner party, because I like parties. I’ve invited all kinds of gmorfs; purple gmorfs, orange gmorfs, green gmorfs, blue gmorfs, because I know all types of gmorfs (I’m diverse like that.) While at this dinner, my butler sees a green gmorf holding one of my precious plates, and he immediately confiscates my plate and throws the green gmorf out of my party.
And I say, “Why did you throw the green gmorf out, Butler?” To which my butler replies: “Because you know how green gmorfs are, they break fine china.”
And the other green gmorfs at the party look at me, but they get to stay…because they knew not to handle fine china in front of my butler. Some green gmorfs are good at knowing their place.
But I dismiss it. I mean my butler isn’t totally incorrect about that. Green gmorfs do break fine china. I call up the green gmorf and I say, “Hey, you gotta understand, green gmorfs are known for breaking china. So you understand why my butler did what he did. If you don’t want to be treated differently, you shouldn’t hold fine china plates.”
And the green gmorf hangs up on me. The green gmorf is mad, and has every right to be.
One day, many years later, when another green gmorf is walking down the street holding their very own fine china plate, the green gmorf comes across a blue gmorf. The blue gmorf recognizes that this green gmorf has cracked some plates before: not broken, just cracked. And the blue gmorf demands the green gmorf hand over the plate. And the green gmorf, for whatever reason, fails to do what the blue gmorf says. And the blue gmorf tackles the green gmorf to the ground. The green gmorf struggles (because fight or flight works with gmorfs also) but the blue gmorf gets leverage, and finally gets the green gmorf to the ground.
The green gmorf is unable to move, and the blue gmorf,  purposely breaks the green gmorfs precious fine china plate into a million pieces.
Green Gmorfs everywhere are outraged. How dare the blue gmorf break the green gmorfs precious plate! That wasn’t the blue gmorfs plate to destroy! And they are absolutely right!
But the orange gmorfs reply: “But what about when the green gmorfs destory their own plates!”


If you don’t get it, I can’t help you.

Yeah…sometimes they aren’t funny.
-Danita LaShelle

One Comment Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s